Almost every parent I know talks about the guilt that comes with splitting time between work and parenting. They feel pulled in different directions, and frequently that they are unable to fulfil either role. I suspect that solo mums feel this especially keenly: there’s no one to share bedtimes with if I’m working late; if I end up working over the weekend this not only eats into my time with my daughter, but means that she’s left playing alone…or more often, tapping my laptop and saying she’s helping mummy work.
I don’t know that there is an obvious solution to this feeling. It would be amazing to feel like we’re acing everything. I suspect that the pernicious culture of presenteeism at many UK workplaces is partly to blame. How refreshing must it be to work in Scandinavian countries where people doing overtime are viewed with concern because they’re considered to be struggling to keep up with their jobs?
I’m incredibly lucky to work at a design agency, Beyond, which promotes flexible working. I can work from home, a coffee shop or the office. I stop work early each day to pick up my daughter, spend an hour with her before we get into the bath-and-story routine. Once she’s asleep, I’ll check back in and make up time. I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to enjoy being a solo mum without this level of freedom. Fortunately, because I spend much of my time writing, I don’t need other people to be working at the same time as me. But there are thousands of roles in this country that could be more flexible, and that would help parents to feel that they are making, rather than sacrificing, time. The world of work is predicted to change hugely over the next decade as AI and automation transform the roles that people are employed to do. I only hope that along with this comes flexibility as standard. It’s time for all businesses to catch up with their employees needs.
PS If only my world of flexible working looked like this picture. Add in toddler toys and general clutter, take away wine and replace with tea and you’re getting closer to the mark.